“You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha
I used to buy and say exceptionally unwanted rubbish to please others. I recently gained the courage to tell people that they have to tell me what they want, otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to provide. In turn, I made a vow that I would be honest with what I could provide. I will not assume. As my father says, “Assumptions makes asses out of you and me.” Assumptions make me feel obligated to please and I know I’m providing based off of pure obsession.
This obsession led me to become rather co-dependent. I’d give, give and give, expecting something–anything–in return. The recipients, however, could resist the temptation to want to give back.
This lead me to only provide me–my true self–and nothing more. I deserve to see where my true path lies. The only way I will discover my true path is being honest and willing. You know what? People now take me in with no reservations. On occasion, people will indulge on the side a little, but it’s not my responsibility to provide them with my old habits and temptations.
I understand that my past intentions behind giving were based solely on the notion that I wanted to please others. In a way, it made me feel accepted. I assumed that my generosity was what they wanted. Pleasing people based off my assumptions is me being selfish. It’s also draining, causes anxiety and resentments.
In the end, I am responsible for ever action I take. I do not need to be accepted by others to live a happy and healthy life. I’ve accepted myself. I am and will forever be me. I am good enough.
Check out this article to learn more about the disease to please others: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200807/parent-pleasing-people-pleasing-the-journey-away-self-and-the-way-ba-1
Thank you for reading.