“Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!” – 2 Corinthians 13:5
A very warm greetings to my WordPress family!
I hope that you are doing well on another glorious day that God has created for all of us to enjoy.
Today, I would like to discuss something that I hold close to my heart. It was given to me as guidance from above. From above, I mean words from God. He recently, within the last two years, has been working with me to understand reluctancy. My own mainly but also others’ reluctancies. I didn’t quite understand why I would need to witness other people’s reluctancies and have their unwillingness affect my life. That was until last night when I received a message that made my whole body vibrate. As such, I know this post is to be very important for someone to read. It could be you so please pay attention. If it shutters you to the core and makes a lasting impression then please remember: take away from it what you need and leave the rest. This post will probably be more important to you than my need to get it out so I can stop shaking! 🙂
How was I reluctant in the past? Well, for starters, I wanted to change the world for God but I didn’t want to change myself first.
I was unwilling.
Why? Well, denial played a huge part in my unwillingness. Once I was out of the denial fog it was the anger that was holding me back. I thought, “Why didn’t someone tell me I wasn’t being wise but only clever?” By trying to change the world without working on myself first, I was showing some fairly decent sized co-dependency issues. Well, like I said, God is working with me to show me that I need to work on myself first before I can help out my community.
What have I learned so far during my self-discovery/development? I have learned compassion. I have learned how to spot hypocrisy (in myself and others). I have learned how to not judge others or myself. And, surprisingly, I have learned how to tell when someone is lying. I also cannot lie anymore. Well, I guess I could but I don’t want to. Lying ruins my serenity and makes me delve back into being clever rather than wise.
How did I find that I was being reluctant? It’s all in the personality and words. For one, I gossiped. For two, I judged others. For three, I would get all up in other people’s business. I felt alone doing all this. I thought I was dealt a “hard life” card. I didn’t know there was a solution. I didn’t know that God was trying to help me find this solution.
It wasn’t until I noticed road blocks forming in my life that I needed to find a solution. I didn’t realize the blocks were out of love. I thought they were being set out by the Devil. I thought that I was cursed. However, I finally realized that it was God that set out those road blocks. He was signaling me to pull over on the road of life to do some much needed self-maintenance before sending me off to help Him further. It was God giving me a chance to work out my own wrinkles. He wanted me to be the person He meant me to be–a good person. This just goes to show that blocks are not always a bad thing in life. Sometimes we need blocks so we can readjust our lights to see past the fog.
Praise the Lord for sending a person my way last Fall. I didn’t really understand until recently why He sent her my way as she caused a lot of pain in my life. I knew the pain was coming because He warned me about her with my gut instincts. When I looked at her she made me feel like I was talking to a “mean girl” from high school. Of course, at the time, I didn’t trust my instincts. I now see I was being naive. She even told me I was naive. I can laugh about that word “naive” now. Although, it did cause me a lot of pain at the time it was first said.
You see, she and I live very similar lives–both of us are trying to save the world for God without saving ourselves first. She is fairly older than me and has a lot more experience under her belt but we are not so different when it comes to God wanting us to pull over–pull over to develop our body, emotions, mind, intellect, spiritual awareness, soul and environment–before we continue work for Him. He introduced me to her so I could see that even the most gifted person needs to work on herself before He will have her move forward. I only say this because she was constantly telling me her work for God had hit a road block.
This was such a huge realization for me.
So, it is my hope that He continues to work with me on self-discovery before He sends me off on my path again to work for Him.
How amazing is it to say that God cares enough for me to take me aside and ask me to care for myself before I continue working for Him?? This is the only God I know and I LOVE Him for this action.
What has helped me most during my work on myself? Finding my truth. Finding my passion; not a passion that causes anxiety and anger but a passion that makes me feel great about myself and others.
Well, I leave you with those words. I am sure I will have more to say about this on a future date. Until then, please know that I enjoy sharing my life with you.
Please do let me know if this post helps you in any way. Also, collaboration is always encouraged in my little corner of the web.
With Much Love,